
So, engaging in some mid-week 'public house' action seems like a good idea until you wake up with your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth and your head beating like an African drum. I can safely say I cannot cope with even entertaining the idea of boozing on a school night any longer.
But is there really anything you can do to relieve the morning after the night before? S
Such is the desperation to find a hangover remedy (at this very moment in time), that I'm going to do a minor bit of research to hunt down THE cure. If all else fails, I should really just go to bed and stay there until the world becomes clearer.
Milk thistle
Theory: An extract of the milk thistle plant — available as a tablet or a liquid — is thought to aid liver function and help the body to metabolise alcohol more quickly.
Hangover rating: 2/5 Milk thistle contains silybin and silymarin that have been shown in some studies to protect the liver from toxins and to possess antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties. However, most studies have been carried out on alcoholics and there is no proof that it can help TO cure or prevent a hangover.
Bacon sandwich
Theory: It is the hangover cure for many — its smell and taste often prove irresistible. Tradition has it that the bread soaks up the alcohol.
Hangover rating: 5/5 A recent study at Newcastle University’s Centre for Life confirmed that a bacon sarnie can indeed provide relief. “Bread doesn’t soak up alcohol but is high in carbohydrates that boost blood-sugar levels and speed up the metabolism, helping to get rid of alcohol quickly,” says the researcher Elin Roberts. “Bingeing on alcohol depletes brain neurotransmitters but bacon, which is rich in protein, contains amino acids that top these up and make you feel better.”
Black coffee and paracetamol
Theory: Caffeine is thought to kick-start your system, while paracetamol can ease the aches and pains.
Hangover rating:0/5 Black coffee alone can make your hangover worse, according to researchers at Temple University in Philadelphia. Take paracetamol, too, and the effects could be deadly, suggest scientists from the University of Washington. Caffeine triples the amount of a toxic by-product created when paracetamol is broken down. It’s the same as the substance responsible for liver damage when alcohol and paracetamol react together.
Isotonic sports drinks
Theory: These contain tiny, easily digestible particles of carbohydrate that makers claim can help to rehydrate at a faster rate than water.
Hangover rating: 4/5 Dehydration causes loss of body salts, or electrolytes, including magnesium, potassium and chloride. “Sports drinks are probably among the best remedies as they also help to restore blood sugar levels,” says Louise Sutton, a dietician from the Carnegie Centre for sports Performance and Wellbeing at Leeds Metropolitan University. “The drink will provide some calories and can rehydrate the body up to 40 per cent more effectively than water.”
Exercise
Theory: According to new research from the Government, one person in five believes that sweating off a hangover is the most effective approach. Findings from a recent Department of Health survey suggest that 3.8 million adults pull on their trainers the day after over-indulging on alcohol.
Hangover rating: 0/5 No chance it will work, says Gillian Merron, the Minister for Public Health. “You’re not going to compensate with a workout.” Sutton adds that exercise will simply compound the body’s fluid debt.
Water
Theory: Drinking water throughout a drinking session and before bed will negate the effects of alcohol.
Hangover rating:3/5 According to Sue Baic: alcohol is a diuretic so many symptoms are linked to dehydration. If you alternate alcoholic drinks with water, it will dilute some of the nasty by-products of alcohol.”
Hair of the dog
Theory: Having another drink can ease you into recovery.
Hangover rating: 1/5 Withdrawal symptoms from alcohol do contribute to suffering, but drinking more is not advisable. “Although another drink might alleviate symptoms, you are really postponing the point at which you will feel better,” Sutton says.
Prickly pear cactus
Theory: Available as a powder or in pill form, an extract of this cactus plant taken prior to a night on the tiles could reduce the likelihood of a thumping head.
Hangover rating: 4/5 It could help, according to a study at Tulane University in New Orleans, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine. Researchers tested 64 healthy medical students and the extract reduced three of nine hangover symptoms — nausea, dry mouth and loss of appetite — and halved the risk of a severe hangover.
Alka-Seltzer
Theory: The effervescent tablets contain aspirin, paracetamol and caffeine, and the idea is to take them when you get home rather than the following morning, when you might not be able to keep them down.
Hangover rating: 1/5 They can be helpful for a headache and to neutralise excess stomach acid. “But the main benefit probably comes from the water they are dissolved in,” says Sutton. ”They are worth a try unless your stomach is sensitive, in which case they could prove an irritant to the lining.”
Artichoke extract
Theory: Extract of artichoke leaves help the liver to process alcohol.
Hangover rating: 2/5 The journal Phytomedicine last year showed that a supplement containing a 400mg extract of artichoke leaf extract (such as Cynara Artichoke and Digestiherb) helped stomach problems, and there is anecdotal evidence that it reduces indigestion, an upset stomach and nausea. But not all experts agree and a review in the Canadian Medical Association Journal said that it does nothing to cure a hangover. A review of herbal hangover cures in the British Medical Journal a few years ago found none of them to be beneficial.
Eggs
Theory: Often consumed as part of the hangover fry-up, eggs are also consumed raw by some who believe a substance called cysteine helps to fight free radical damage to the body.
Hangover rating: 1/5 “I can’t imagine anyone wanting cooked eggs, let alone raw ones, when they feel queasy,” says Sutton. “Eating helps and the albumen in eggs could offer relief to the stomach, but toast and water is an easier option.”
Sleep
Theory: James Garbutt, a professor of psychiatry at the University of North Carolina who specialises in alcohol studies, recently concluded that no hangover cure will work. So, why not crawl under the duvet and sleep it off?
Hangover rating: 3/5 In theory it will work; in practice many symptoms are an indirect result of a chemical called acetaldehyde, produced as your body metabolises booze. It makes you hot and sweaty, increasing your heart rate and making your stomach churn. It is when acetaldehyde accumulates that you vomit. But the metabolism of alcohol interferes with rapid eye-movement sleep, which means that you find it difficult to drop off or you keep waking up. You could try the Hangover Pillow (ruthwhiteyoga.com) stuffed with juniper, fennel, mustard and peppermint, designed to prevent a sore head.
Worcestershire sauce cocktail
Theory: Jeeves confronted Bertie Wooster’s hangover with a supposedly magic cocktail of raw egg, Worcestershire sauce and red pepper. “Gentlemen have told me they have found it extremely invigorating,” Jeeves said.
Hangover rating:0/5 “I can’t imagine anyone being able to stomach Worcestershire sauce, nor having the patience to follow a recipe,” says Sutton. And eating a raw egg could increase the risk of salmonella poisoning. Not quite what your stomach is after.
To conclude, the only real way to deal with a hangover is with gumption. Bring it on and make a mountain out of it. I'm now lining up water on my desk, contemplating eating a huge amount of pasta for breakfast, telling my colleagues my head is about to fall off and speaking to my partners in crime, explaining that I'm NEVER going to look at a bottle of vodka ever again. Standard. Oh, and I believe a cream cheese sandwich can pretty much cure anything and that is what I shall consume for lunch.Apparently it's all in the balance of carbs and fats for the perfect way to treat a hangover.
My new rule. Prevention is better than cure.
That'll work until circa 12 noon tomorrow when I frequent Supper Club for Love Brunch. Oh dear.